Like a Monkey on a Pogo Stick

Well, time to change Hormonal Mare’s name to Crippled Mare. Actually, she is doing much better. She is still tender, but is able to stay off bute without being hopping lame as she was 2 weeks ago. In fact, she moves sound on soft ground and only shows slight tenderness over hard surfaces. I rode her for the 2nd time today (2nd time in the past 2 weeks). Both times we rode bareback. I must have been a real sight to see.

Bareback is so friggin’ hard. I have not ridden bareback in over a year. The first time we rode, this previous Tuesday, I could hardly stay balanced and was all over the poor horse’s back. She was very tolerant of my fat butt sliding all over, so I was pleased with her. We are only doing walk/jog bareback for right now. My poor muscles cannot handle anything harder.

Several times I felt like I was about to slip over her side. Every time we turned, my upper body went in the opposite direction. I have never felt so unbalanced in my life!! That ride really proved to me that I am seriously out of shape and need to get off my fat behind and do something about it. Really, it’s embarrassing to ride like monkey on a pogo stick. I’m sure my neighbors found it almost as amusing as the time I split my pants open (with no underwear on, no less).

Today, my second bareback ride in the past year, I was much better. Even after just Tuesday’s ride, my balance was amazingly improved. If any of you want to get superwoman strength and balance, try going bareback. It’s brutally painful at first, but it seems to get easier with each ride and your balance will improve drastically.

The only reason I quit riding bareback for the past year was because my previous 3 year old, a HUGE 16.2 hand AQHA gelding, hated bareback. His eyes would literally BULDGE out of his head and he’d basically go ballistic. Needless to say, NO bareback riding for fruit loop gelding.
Crippled Mare (hahaha, that really isn’t quite true, but its catchy sounding) is such a sweetie, bareback doesn’t faze her in the least. She stands like a statue to be mounted and does everything I ask calmly. The only attitude I got was my first bareback ride when I was sliding all over like ice cream on the frying pan. The swished her tail a bit, but that was it.

As far as the hoof, I now am 99.9% sure it is a nasty bruise and not an abscess. Since she is slowly, oh so slowly (think of melting ice in the Arctic), getting better than it must be a bruise. When she went pretty sound today, that really eliminated an abscess from my mind. The farrier comes back out on Tuesday, so hopefully we can get front shoes and maybe even pads on her. I am still undecided on the pads. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Crippled Mare stays somewhat sound and doesn’t go lame again. I actually like riding her and haven’t been too happy to be sitting on my couch the past 2 weeks. UGH!

I ate FIVE brownies!

So, yesterday I ate 5 brownies. That's not a good thing. I also ate some frosting right out of the jar. I think my weight issue might be related to eating. What do you all think? Hahaha. I will be the first to say that I am NOT the type to just stop eating. Nope, not gonna do it. I'd rather work my butt off in the gym and stuff my fat face. Okay, so the gym part doesn't always happen. In fact, it hasn't happened in 6 months. Yeah, I guess that might be why I gained 30 pounds.

Let's face it ladies, riding does help but it doesn't help enough. If we want to avoid looking like a beached whale ontop of our horses, we need to do more than sit and look pretty. I want to start adding in 10 minutes of long trotting ... you know, the gait and speed where you have to push your butt out of the saddle and post. Yes, that gait. Not only will it help me, it will help the horse build more muscle. In the long run, we both win.

Also, how many of you move your upper body to avoid using your hips/pelvis to canter? Raise hands ... I'm holding mine up, too. I plan to also really, truly, properly canter. That means, my upper body sits tall and my hips and pelvis go with the motion. It's hard. It hurts. It uses your muscles. Try it. Add in 10 minutes of long trot work, 10 minutes of REALLY cantering properly and "Holy boots, Batman!", you added 20 minutes of a real work out to your day.

I still urge everyone to add in some crunches every other day. You don't have to do the ones that break your back. Just flop down flat on the floor, put your hands behind your head, and lift your upper body about 4" off the floor. Just enough to feel the squeeze in your tummy. Do this as many times as quickly as you can. It helps build muscle without hurting your back (something I have to be careful about).

Oh, try to lay off the brownies.

I made my own soaking boot!

Sorry for my lack of posts this week. I have been going crazy the past 7 days. I want to rip my hair out!!

Hormonal Mare and I had finally fallen into a routine and were doing quite well until she decided to turn herself into a lame, three legged wonder. That's right! The previous Thursday went well. We had a small spook, but it was more than easy to handle. In fact, she never spooked again, even in the same corner. She must have some intelligence in order to have figured that one out. On Saturday, we saddled up and started out a little rocky. I noticed Hormonal Mare was acting according to her name ... hormonal. She was swishing her tail, pinning her ears, and other typical mare type behaviors. She also felt a tad tender on her right front. I assumed she would work out of it, but 5 minutes later she was hopping lame. I checked the pusle on her pastern and was thumping.

To those of you who don't know this, you should NOT be able to feel a pulse on the pastern. If you do, it means there is pain in the hoof. The pusle can be found near the large vein that runs vertically along the side of the pastern. If you cannot for the life of you feel it, then the pain is caused by something else other than the hoof.

It is either a bruise or an abscess. Heaven only knows which. I am okay with this, though. Being the annoying, antagonizing worrier, I imagined all sorts of horrible outcomes that it could have been. A broken coffin bone, Navicular, Laminitis, and other such cruelties that horses are subject to. Luckily, it is something easier to deal with than those others. However, if any of you have dealt with a sore hoof before you must be able to physically feel my pain right now. It HURTS. My head is going to explode out of my temples.

Being me, hahahahahahahahahahaha, I created a make shift soaking boot. Rather than spend $40 and have to wait a week, I wanted one NOW (as in, right this minute it better poof and magically appear in front of my eyeballs). As it turns out, a velcro bell boot, duck tape, and card board does the trick rather well. Hormonal Mare is actually very good about wearing it for the 15 minutes it takes to soak. She doesn't move much with it on, thank the good Lord in heaven. For her leave on spa treatment, I am using baby diapers and duck tape to make a pasture boot that will hold in the sugar/iodine solution that will help draw out the abscess.

Now it is a waiting game. At the moment, she is comfortable on bute and is not lame. If I take away the bute, she goes 3-legged lame again. I really cannot figure out if this is a bruise or an abscess. It is driving me nuts! The farrier will be out on Tuesday and maybe he can help me do something with this bum hoof.